


Just Curious

by LydiaBSlade



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, BenArmie AU, Drunk Sex, First Time Blow Jobs, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Referenced Ben/OMC, oh my god they were roommates, slight dubcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:15:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21981874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LydiaBSlade/pseuds/LydiaBSlade
Summary: Armie has a lot of questions. Ben has answers, or at least he thinks he does.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 22
Kudos: 166





	Just Curious

**Author's Note:**

> Please note the tags and see the endnotes for additional information if you have any concerns.

“Ben?”

Ben rolls over in bed and peers down at the indistinct shape of his roommate, who is lying in the lower bunk in the dark room. “Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?”

Ben sighs. He had been nearly asleep before Armie’s voice had dragged him back to consciousness. “Yeah, sure, what’s up?”

“I was just wondering.” There’s a pause. “Last night, when you didn’t come back here - where did you go?”

Ben blinks. Whatever he had been expecting, it wasn’t that. “I, uh, went home with someone. From the bar.”

“Oh.” Another long pause, long enough that Ben rolls back over and closes his eyes again. “Was it - was it that guy you were talking to? The dark-haired one in the pink shirt?”

Ben wonders, somewhat apprehensively, where this is going. “Yeah. So what?” 

“I was just curious.” Armie takes a deep breath. “So, uh. You’re into guys?”

Ben opens his eyes and stares up at the ceiling. _I really don’t need this right now,_ he thinks. “Yeah. You have a problem with that?”

“No! I just - I don’t know anyone who’s... you know. Like that.”

Ben rolls his eyes, even though Armie can’t see him. “Well, now you do. But you can relax, I’m not going to hit on you or anything.” 

“I wasn’t thinking that!”

“Then why do you care?”

“I don’t!”

“Okay, good,” Ben says, irritably. “Go to sleep, Armie.”

“Fine.” Armie sounds annoyed now, too. “Have a good night.”

Ben pulls a pillow over his head and doesn’t respond. Even through the pillow, he can hear the bedsprings creaking for a long time, as Armie shifts restlessly in the lower bunk.

***

Admittedly, Ben had initially been excited when he found out that his roommate during his summer-abroad program would be the slender red-haired boy he had first noticed when he met up with the other students at the airport. Armie had been dressed, Ben had thought at the time, like a massive douchebag: he was wearing a pin-striped shirt tucked into khaki pants that had neat creases pressed into them, with a pair of fussy-looking leather dress shoes. He stood out awkwardly among the crowd of slouchy college students, who were mostly dressed in sweatshirts, yoga pants, and, in some cases, pajamas, for the long flight to Italy. 

Still, there was something about Armie’s obsessive neatness that made Ben wonder what it would be like to pull those starched clothes off of him, to tease and touch and lick at him until he was gasping and desperate. As they waited in line to board the plane, Ben stared at the back of Armie’s pale neck and idly imagined how the skin there would flush pink if Ben closed his teeth on it and slid his hand down to cup Armie’s cock through his slacks.

But, at some point, Ben noticed the tiny gold crucifix that Armie wore around his neck, partially hidden by his shirt, and then he overheard Armie having an earnest conversation with one of the girls about how he was saving himself for marriage. _So much for that,_ Ben thought, and resolved not to think about it anymore. After all, they were in Florence, and they had every evening free to explore the city and meet interesting locals. There was no need to fixate on Armie’s sharp green eyes and soft pink lips, or the way his tailored trousers clung to his narrow hips. No need whatsoever.

***

The following night, as Ben turns off the light and climbs into his bunk, he hears Armie’s voice again. 

“Ben? Can I ask you something else?”

“What now?” Ben asks warily. 

Armie hesitates. “When you went home with that guy. How did you know it was - that it was safe to go with him?”

“What do you mean? Like, how did I know he wasn’t a serial killer or something?” Armie doesn’t say anything. “I mean, I guess I didn’t know. But he seemed pretty harmless. And he was like half my size, anyway.”

“You are really big,” Armie says. He sounds vaguely annoyed by that, for some reason. “That was something else I wanted to ask you, actually - can I go work out with you sometime? And, like, watch what you do?”

“Yeah, sure,” Ben says, rather flattered. “You want me to show you my usual routine?”

“Yeah. I keep trying to get bigger, but I can’t put on muscle like you.”

So Armie had noticed his muscles. Ben grins in the dark. “I’m going to go lift tomorrow, if you want to come with.”

“Yeah. Is the afternoon okay? I have to go to church in the morning.”

Church. Ben rolls his eyes. “Sure, yeah, I was going to sleep in anyway. I’ll wait for you.”

“Thanks.” There’s a long pause, and Ben wonders if the conversation is over. Then Armie says, “I also wanted to ask - like, about safety - how did you know that guy didn’t have a disease or something?”

“Is that what this is about?” Ben asks, scowling. “You scared you’re going to get AIDS or whatever from sharing a bathroom with me?”

“No! I wasn’t thinking that at all.” Armie sounds genuinely wounded. “I just - I don’t know how any of that works. I was wondering.”

“Didn’t you ever have that class at school where they show you how to roll a condom onto a banana?” Ben asks, still annoyed. “It’s not rocket science.”

“I went to an all-boys Catholic boarding school. Run by Jesuits,” Armie says defensively. “I mean, I’m not an idiot, I know how a condom works. But all they told us about sex in school was that we would probably die if we did it.”

“That explains a lot.”

“What does it explain?” Armie snaps.

“Never mind.” He wonders how much Armie really wants to know. “Anyway, since you asked - I mean, it’s none of your business, but I didn’t do anything with that guy that could give me a disease. Not any of the really bad ones, at least.”

“Oh,” Armie says. He seems to be digesting this information. “But - what does that mean? What did you do with him?”

Ben laughs, mostly because he’s surprised. “Are you serious? You want me to tell you exactly how I hooked up with that guy?”

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“I know I don’t.” Armie doesn’t respond. “But if you really want to know - he, uh, he sucked me off. And he jerked himself off while he was doing it.”

“_Oh_,” Armie says, a bit breathlessly. Ben grins to himself again. “He didn’t - he didn’t want anything else?”

“I guess not.” Ben shrugs. “We both got off, I slept over, he gave me his number. He seemed happy.” 

“Oh. Are you going to call him?”

“I don’t know, maybe. Not after only two days, for sure. I don’t want to seem desperate.” Ben pauses. “It’s kind of awkward being there, anyway, because he lives with his mom. I had no idea she was even there until I wandered out in my underwear to get some water in the middle of the night and saw this lady in a flowery nightgown sleeping on the couch. I just about had a heart attack.”

Armie laughs. “That sounds awkward.” After a moment, he says, “Can I ask - what you guys did - why did he do that? I mean, what would he get out of doing that?” 

“You mean, why would he want to suck my cock?” Ben laughs again. “Okay, wow. This is not a conversation I was expecting to have tonight.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I mean, if you want to know, I don’t care, it doesn’t bother me to talk about it. I just wouldn’t have thought you’d want to hear it.” 

“I was just curious.”

“Uh-huh,” Ben says. _What exactly is going on here_, he wonders. He decides not to press the issue, in the interest of not scaring Armie off. “Anyway, um, he probably wanted to do it because sucking cock is fun. It’s hot. I like doing it too.”

“You do?” Armie’s voice comes out in a kind of breathless squeak.

_Want me to show you?_ Ben almost asks. But he had told Armie he wasn’t going to hit on him. And if they’re going to keep rooming together, he doesn’t want Armie to freak out at him. “Yeah - I mean, with a guy you’re attracted to, it’s really hot to see him getting into it. Like, the noises he makes, how his body responds, it’s great.” Ben reaches down to discreetly readjust himself. Explaining blowjobs to Armie is starting to make him uncomfortably hard; he wonders what this conversation might be doing to Armie. “Besides, I like the taste.”

“The _taste_? You mean - when he - finishes?” Armie sounds as if he can hardly get the words out. Ben wishes he could see the expression on his face. 

“Just, like, the taste and feel of a hard cock in my mouth, it turns me on like crazy.” He pauses. He can hear Armie’s shallow, rapid breathing in the dark. “But yeah, I also really love making a guy come in my mouth. Or, like, on my face or my chest or whatever. It’s hot as fuck.”

“I have to go,” Armie says abruptly. He flees into the tiny bathroom. There’s a sound of water running. Ben laughs a little to himself, then wonders if he went too far. When Armie doesn’t come back immediately, Ben slides his hand into his shorts. Might as well take advantage of briefly having the room to himself, after all. He thinks about how Armie’s face would look if Ben knelt down between his legs and mouthed at his cock through his pajamas, what kind of shocked little sounds he might make as Ben sucked him. He comes hard as he pictures Armie doing the same thing on the other side of the door, frantically stroking himself as he imagines what it would be like to have Ben’s mouth on him. 

***

“You know, you can always just tell me to shut up,” Ben says, when Armie comes to meet him in the small weight room in their dormitory the next day.

Armie looks at him suspiciously. “What are you talking about?”

“I mean, like, last night, when I just kept talking until you went and hid in the bathroom. You can tell me to shut up if you’re uncomfortable.” Ben has been reconsidering the events of the previous evening and has started to wonder if he had been misinterpreting what was going on. Out of wishful thinking, probably. Maybe Armie really had just been asking questions out of general curiosity, and Ben had taken it to a weird place. As usual. 

Armie flushes slightly. “It’s fine. You were just answering my question.”

Ben is wearing a loose-fitting black tank top, and Armie’s eyes flicker over his exposed arms and chest in a way that immediately revives all of Ben’s wishful thoughts. Maybe he hadn’t been misinterpreting Armie’s interest in the topic of blowjobs, after all. He tries not to be obvious about flexing slightly as Armie looks him over. 

“I hate people like you,” Armie says, gloomily, looking away.

“People like me? What do you mean?”

Armie touches his bicep lightly, almost a caress, and Ben tries not to visibly shiver. Armie’s hands are very soft. “Oh, you know.” He gestures vaguely towards Ben’s body with his other hand. “I’ve been lifting weights since I was twelve, but I’m never going to look like you.”

“You don’t need to look like me,” Ben says. He wants to tell Armie how much he likes the spare, elegant lines of Armie’s body - his delicate wrists, his sharp, pretty face. Instead, he just says, “Don’t stress about it.”

Armie rolls his eyes. “Easy for you to say.”

“Well, that’s why we’re here.” Ben glances around the weight room, wondering where to begin. Armie’s cool fingers are still on his upper arm, and it’s making it hard to think. There are a pile of mats in a corner of the room, and Ben is momentarily tempted to ask Armie if he wants to practice wrestling holds. He pushes the thought out of his mind: there’s no way he’d be able to have Armie pinned under him right now, maybe squirming between his legs, without embarrassing himself.

Instead he takes a deep breath, turns towards the weight rack, and begins guiding Armie through his usual workout. Possibly, he stands just slightly closer than necessary as he spots Armie and makes suggestions. It seems to him that Armie gets especially pink and breathless whenever Ben touches him to correct his form, but it might just be the exertion. Or Ben might be imagining it. Being this close to Armie when he’s sweating and breathing hard is messing with Ben’s head.

***

“Got any more weird questions for me?” Ben asks as he climbs into his bunk that night, trying to sound sarcastic rather than eager.

“Yes, actually. If you don’t mind.” The bedsprings creak agonizingly as Armie shifts his weight in the bunk below.

“Go ahead.”

“Have you ever, um.” Armie clears his throat. “Have you ever had anal sex?” The words come out in an embarrassed rush.

Ben laughs. “Wow, you’re really getting right down to it tonight, huh? No small talk first?”

“Sorry. But. You asked if I had any other questions.”

“Sure, yeah, I don’t mind, it’s just funny.” Ben rubs a hand over his face. “And, yeah, I’ve done that. With long-term boyfriends, mostly, not random hookups.”

“Aren’t you, like, twenty, twenty-one? How many long-term boyfriends have you had?” Armie sounds incredulous.

“I’ve been out since I was twelve,” Ben says. “I had a boyfriend in high school and then I was dating another guy for most of last year. That douchebag who runs the LGBT Resource Center. You know him?”

“I think I saw him speak at an assembly once. Really, you were dating him? He’s really good-looking. The girls near me were saying that he looked like a movie star.”

“Yeah, we dated, is it really that hard to believe?” Ben asks, annoyed.

“No.” Armie is quiet for a moment. “I can’t believe you’ve been out since you were twelve. You would’ve been murdered at my school if you’d tried that.”

“I was lucky, I guess,” Ben says. “I went to this school in Manhattan for quote-unquote ‘gifted’ kids - it was kind of an insane place. Like, people would cry in the hallway if they got a B on a test. And everyone’s parents have been pushing them towards Harvard or whatever since they were in the womb. But, yeah, it was pretty safe to be gay there.”

“They must be so disappointed that you’re just going to Georgetown.”

“What? Oh, yeah, that’s me. Always been a disappointment.”

“I’m just kidding,” Armie says. “What did your parents say?”

“About me being a disappointment?”

“No, when you came out.”

“Oh, you know.” Ben scowls. “My mom did her usual fake thing - ‘we love you, we’re here for you, we want you to be happy,’ blah, blah, the same old routine.”

“That definitely wouldn’t be the same old routine with my father,” Armie remarks. “You don’t think she meant it?”

“Maybe. I mean, she’s just never around. She’s a lawyer and then a couple of years ago she got elected to the city council - she always has a million things going on.” Ben frowns. “Everything she says always sounds rehearsed - like, when I came out to her, it was like, ‘here’s my speech where I support my gay son.’ It didn’t feel like it had anything to do with me in particular. I could’ve been anyone.”

“What about your father? What did he say?”

“My dad?” Ben laughs. “My dad decided that me coming out to him would be a good moment to tell me that he used to hook up with both my mom and her brother back in the day. I guess he figured we could bond over that.”

“He - what? Are you serious?”

“Yeah, that’s my dad. Fun times.”

“Did they - was it - at the same time?”

“Uh, I didn’t ask, but I don’t think it was, like, an incest threesome? More like, he was sleeping with both of them. On alternate days of the week, maybe, I’m not sure.” Ben rolls over and peers down at Armie over the edge of the bunk. “Anyway, weren’t you asking me about anal sex? I don’t know how we wound up talking about my crazy parents instead.”

“Oh yes, right.” The faint light from the street outside outlines Armie’s profile and shines dimly on his pretty mouth. His eyes are in shadow, and Ben can’t quite make out his expression. “I did want to ask - what does it feel like? Doesn’t it hurt?”

“It can. It doesn’t have to,” Ben says. “The first time I tried it, with my high-school boyfriend, we didn’t know what we were doing and it really hurt. I had to make him stop. But, uh, we figured it out eventually.”

“So you - do you like that? Being on the - the receiving end?”

Ben laughs again. “You make it sound like something you’d do at the post office,” he says. “But, yeah, I like it both ways. Or, you know, using fingers or toys or whatever, it all feels really good.” 

“I guess I don’t really understand why. I mean, for the guy who’s - who’s on top, I can understand that part. But I don’t understand why the other guy would like it.”

_I could show you,_ Ben thinks. “It’s, um, your prostate gland. You know, it’s like your g-spot?” Armie doesn’t say anything. “Anyway, for some people, it doesn’t really do anything for them. But some guys can come just from that, just from getting fucked or whatever.”

“Can _you_?” Armie’s voice has that slightly breathless sound again. 

Ben grins. “No, not without touching my cock. But getting fucked makes me come really hard.”

The bedsprings creak loudly as Armie squirms restlessly in his bunk. There’s a pause. Then he says, abruptly, “What does a blowjob feel like?”

“I could show you,” Ben offers, before he can stop himself. _Oh, fuck, I’m a fucking idiot,_ Ben thinks, when Armie breathes in sharply but doesn’t respond. “I mean, you don’t have to do it back to me or anything,” he adds, hesitantly. He can feel his heart beating in the loud silence that follows. “And, uh, you could imagine I’m a girl or whatever. If you want.” If Armie needs to pretend that he isn’t attracted to Ben, then Ben can deal with that. Maybe. For the moment, anyway.

“I don’t _do_ that,” Armie says, angrily, and before Ben can ask what, exactly, he doesn’t do, Armie has jumped out of his bunk and fled to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. 

_Fuck,_ Ben thinks again. Several minutes later, when Armie still has not emerged, Ben climbs out of his bunk and taps gingerly on the closed bathroom door. “Sorry,” he says to the musty-smelling wood panel in front of his face. There’s no response. “Hey, Armie, I’m really sorry. I won’t say anything like that ever again, I promise.” The bathroom remains silent. “Look, I’m an idiot, okay? Can we just forget about it?”

“It’s fine,” Armie says, after what seems like a long time. The door remains closed. Ben opens his mouth to say something else, then thinks better of it. He returns to his bed, feeling miserable. When the bathroom door finally opens, he pretends to be asleep. 

***

Considering that they share a room and that they have mandatory Italian language and history classes together every day, Armie does a remarkably effective job of avoiding Ben for the rest of the week. He turns up for class exactly on time, disappears immediately afterwards, and doesn’t return to their dormitory until late at night. On Wednesday afternoon, he skips an optional tour of a Florentine nobleman’s historic villa, even though he had previously been dutifully present for every possible activity. Ben trails unhappily through the lavishly-decorated rooms, finding it impossible to focus on whatever their guide is saying about Renaissance architecture. 

_Sorry, sorry, sorry,_ Ben thinks at the back of Armie’s precisely-combed head in class on Thursday morning. _Sorry I fucked up, sorry I made it weird, sorry sorry sorry._ But Armie doesn’t seem to want to give him a chance to say it out loud. Ben considers leaving a note on Armie’s bunk, but he doesn’t know what to write. _Too bad no one makes “sorry I offered to blow you, please go back to asking me random questions about sex” cards,_ he thinks. 

***

Late Friday night, Ben is alone and mostly asleep in his bunk when the door suddenly bangs open and Armie flips on the light. “Sorry,” Armie says, looking up, pink-faced, when Ben sits up in bed. He turns the light off again. “I figured you’d be out.”

“No.”

“I didn’t see you at the bar with the others, so I thought maybe you were with that guy again. From last weekend.”

“I might call him tomorrow,” Ben says. “I wasn’t in the mood.”

“Oh.” There’s a crash as Armie stumbles into something in the dark. “Ow!”

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Armie says, from somewhere near the foot of the bed. “Ben - can I come up and talk to you?”

“Come up where?” The bunks quake as Armie pulls himself up over the end of Ben’s bed and flops in next to him, narrowly missing Ben’s groin with his sharp knees. “Armie! What the fuck?”

“I thought you wanted this,” Armie says, half on top of Ben now. His body is warm and pliant against Ben. He’s still fully dressed, and the buttons of his stiff cotton shirt scrape against Ben’s bare chest. He smells strongly of alcohol.

“I didn’t think _you_ did,” Ben says, his heart pounding. Armie nuzzles at the side of Ben’s face, then begins mouthing softly at the sensitive skin under his jaw. His cool fingers brush over Ben’s nipple and Ben’s body jerks involuntarily. “Dude! How drunk are you?”

“Not that drunk,” Armie says, licking experimentally at Ben’s ear. Ben’s ears are a weak point; this is unfair. Ben squirms backwards slightly, breathing harder, not wanting Armie to feel what this is doing to him. “Can I touch you?”

“Uh - if you want - “ Armie’s hand slides lingeringly down over Ben’s chest and stomach, making him shiver, and then Ben gasps as Armie suddenly grips his cock through his shorts. “Holy shit, Armie!”

“Wow, you _are_ really big,” Armie says, sounding half-pleased, half-annoyed. He’s still squeezing Ben’s cock, and Ben feels as if he can barely breathe. In his fantasies, Armie had always been shy and hesitant at first, then shocked and overwhelmed by how good it felt to have Ben’s mouth and hands on him. He could have imagined Armie drunkenly trying to kiss him, maybe, but not climbing into his bed and grabbing his dick. “Some people have all the luck.”

“What? Oh - thanks - _fuck_, that feels good.” Armie’s soft thumb rubs over the head of Ben’s cock, where it’s beginning to press up past the waistband of his shorts, and Ben whimpers. He tries to collect himself. “Armie - are you sure - “

“Isn’t it obvious I am?” Armie says impatiently, letting go of Ben’s cock and rolling fully on top of him, locking his thighs around Ben and arching against him with a groan.

_This is a bad idea_, Ben thinks indistinctly, but Armie’s erection is rubbing against Ben’s through their clothes and Ben’s hands have somehow found their way down Armie’s back to his perfect little ass and he can’t bring himself to do or say anything that might end this. The small sounds Armie is making in Ben’s ear are better than anything he could have imagined. 

Armie nibbles at Ben’s ear again. “You, um,” he pants. “You said you could - that you could show me - “

“Oh, you decided you want that blowjob after all?” Ben grins. “It really took you all week to figure that out?”

Armie punches his shoulder. “Only if you still want to.”

Ben flips Armie over onto his back and begins unbuttoning his shirt, feeling more certain of himself now. “Maybe if you ask me nicely.”

Armie wraps his legs around Ben’s waist, squirming eagerly underneath him. “Can you - please - “

“Please what?” Ben presses his face into the crook of Armie’s neck, biting down gently, breathing in the warm scent of him.

“Please - please suck me - “ 

Ben’s cock throbs at the words. “You want to know what it feels like? Want to come in my mouth?”

“Oh my god,” Armie breathes, “yes - I really want it - “ He shoves at Ben’s shoulders, as if he’s trying to push Ben’s head below his belt.

“Mmm, we’ll get there,” Ben says, sliding his hands inside Armie’s half-open shirt to pinch his tiny, hard nipples. Armie jerks against him with an inarticulate little shout. “You like that?” He lowers his mouth to suck at them, moving from one to the other, flicking at the tips with his tongue. Armie is panting under him, grinding up frantically against Ben’s stomach. His fingers flex spasmodically in Ben’s hair.

Ben fumbles to open the last several buttons of Armie’s shirt - there seem to be dozens of them, all small and slippery. Armie is pushing his head down again. Ben laughs. “You want it that bad, huh?”

“Shut up,” Armie whispers. “I just - I need - “

“Yeah? What do you need?” Ben flicks open the top button of Armie’s fly and kisses his stomach just above the waistband of his briefs. Armie squirms, trying to press his erection up against Ben’s mouth. Ben moves to one side, licking at the thin skin in the hollow of his hip, making Armie shiver. “You have to tell me.”

Armie groans. “I already did.”

“Yeah, but I like hearing you say it.” Ben tugs Armie’s zipper down and mouths at his erection through his briefs, breathing deliberately on the head of his cock through the thin cotton. Armie’s hips jerk against his mouth. 

“I told you - I need it - please suck me - “ Armie reaches down to shove his trousers and briefs down past his hips. His cock springs up to bob against Ben’s lips. 

“Someone’s eager,” Ben says, grinning. He kisses the tip of Armie’s cock, licking up the salty taste of his precome. “Mmm, you taste good.” Ben moves lower to nuzzle at Armie’s balls, and Armie shouts and arches his back as Ben takes them into his mouth. 

“Oh - _Jesus_ \- I can’t - I need to - “

“You need to come?” Ben asks, sweetly, trying to keep his voice under control even though he’s so hard it aches. He grinds down against the mattress as he massages the sensitive spot behind Armie’s balls with his thumb. “Want to come down my throat, make me swallow it?” Armie lets out a little high-pitched, desperate-sounding noise; Ben wishes it were light enough to see Armie’s face, but the sounds he’s making are hot enough. 

“_Please_,” Armie says urgently, bucking his hips, and Ben gives in, wanting to taste him. He drags the flat of his tongue slowly up the shaft of Armie’s cock. Armie makes that high-pitched sound again, grabbing frantically at Ben’s hair as Ben slides his lips over the head. Then he pins Armie’s squirming hips to the bed to stop him from thrusting upwards as he sucks Armie’s cock fully into his mouth. “Oh - _fuck_ \- ah!” 

Ben hums happily around the shaft of Armie’s cock, sucking hard. _I could almost come just like this_, he thinks deliriously, sliding a hand down between his legs to squeeze his throbbing cock. Somewhere above him, Armie is gasping for air; he sounds almost as if he’s in pain. 

Armie tugs hard at Ben’s hair. “Ben - I’m going to - “

“Mmm,” Ben responds indistinctly, and then Armie’s cock is pulsing in his mouth, pumping salty liquid down his throat as Armie writhes and curses underneath him. Ben swallows, again and again, still stroking himself roughly, his eyes squeezed shut in pleasure.

“That was... wow,” Armie says drowsily, as Ben sits up, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. “Do you want me to - uh - “

“Can I come on you?” Ben blurts out, then wonders if that’s too much for Armie to deal with right now - but Ben is so close, and Armie is spread out so invitingly on the bed, his shirt open and his pants shoved down below his hips - 

Armie sucks in a sharp little breath. “Yeah, okay,” he says. Then, as Ben scrambles to kneel over him, “But turn on the light first. I want to watch you.”

“Oh, fuck yeah,” Ben says fervently, and nearly dives headfirst off the top bunk in his eagerness to reach the switch. Even squinting as the harsh fluorescent overhead light clicks on, Armie looks beautiful - his face and chest flushed, his normally stiffly-gelled hair mussed and damp with sweat, spread out around his face like a short orange halo. His tiny nipples and his softening cock are a perfect bubblegum pink. He looks oddly sweet, as if he would taste like cotton candy. Ben hears himself let out an embarrassingly desperate-sounding noise as he gets his hand back on his cock. As Armie watches him touch himself, the intensity of Armie’s stare is like a hot light. Ben groans deeply as he finishes, streaking Armie’s narrow chest with white. 

Ben flops down next to Armie and tries to put an arm around him, but Armie wriggles away. “I need to take a shower,” he says, lowering himself awkwardly off the top bunk, his trousers still snagged around his legs. He pauses to take them off and hang them neatly off the end of his bed.

“You okay?” Ben asks, biting his lip.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Armie responds, not looking at Ben. He disappears into the bathroom, his long legs bare below the hem of his crumpled dress shirt. It’s a good look for him, Ben notes distractedly. But anxiety curls tighter and tighter in his stomach as he waits for Armie to come back. _How much did he really have to drink_, Ben wonders. 

Armie seems to be new to drinking: during their first night out with the group, Armie had explained several times that he planned to drink at least two sips of water for every sip of alcohol he had, in order to avoid getting a hangover. It was as if he had researched the subject of going out to a bar with friends but had never actually done it before. At the time, Ben had found this performance absurd but endearing. Now it worries him. 

When Armie finally emerges, he clicks off the light before Ben can get a good look at his expression. “Ben?” he says.

“Yeah?”

“I just wanted to say - you can’t tell anyone we did that.”

Ben feels a stab of hurt, even though he wouldn’t have expected anything different. “Yeah, sure,” he says curtly. “Whatever you want, I don’t care.”

“I just don’t want my father to find out.”

“Normally when I blow a guy,” Ben says, “I like to call his parents and tell them all about it afterwards. But I’ll make an exception for you.”

“I’m being serious.”

Ben sighs. “I know, Armie.”

***

In the morning Ben wakes to the sound of the door clicking shut as Armie leaves. He lies in bed for a while longer, half-hoping that Armie will come back from breakfast and climb in with him again. He isn’t very surprised when it doesn’t happen. 

He _is_ genuinely surprised, late that night, when the bunk beds quake as Armie suddenly climbs in behind him. It had been a long, aimless day: once he finally forced himself out of bed, he spent most of it wandering through the sweltering crowds of tourists in central Florence, half-heartedly shopping for souvenirs. He had vague aspirations of buying a leather jacket, but everything at Florence’s historic leather-goods markets seemed to be enormously out of his price range. Eventually he made his way back to the dorm, tried not to feel too disappointed when Armie was nowhere to be found, washed off the heat and the dust with a cold shower, and went to bed.

Now Armie is pressing up eagerly behind him, already getting hard, grinding against Ben’s ass. “Holy shit, Armie,” Ben says. This time, Armie seems to have undressed down to his briefs before getting into bed with Ben, but the strong smell of alcohol is the same. “I - Armie, stop.”

“You don’t want to do this?” Armie sounds hurt. He moves away so that he isn’t touching Ben, but Ben can still feel the warmth of his body against his bare back. 

_Fuck_, Ben thinks. “No - I just - I do, but are you sure you want to do this? For real, how much did you drink before you came in here?”

“You don’t need to babysit me,” Armie says impatiently. “If you want me to leave you alone, just tell me.”

“It’s not that.” _I want you to stop disappearing except when you’re drunk,_ he thinks. “I just don’t know what you really want here.”

Armie presses back up against him, his breath on Ben’s ear. “What you did to me yesterday - I want to do it to you,” he says softly. “I want you to show me how. I’ve been thinking about it all day.”

“You want me to teach you how to suck my cock?” Ben asks hoarsely. Just saying the words sends a dizzying rush of heat to his groin. 

“Yeah.” Armie’s cool hand is sliding down Ben’s chest and stomach again, down over the front of his boxers. Ben arches against his palm with a groan. “That felt so good - and watching you finish - I want to make you do that. With my mouth.”

“Oh, _fuck_, Armie,” Ben pants. “You turn me on like crazy, you know that?”

“Good.” Armie sucks Ben’s earlobe into his mouth as he squeezes Ben’s cock through his shorts. 

_How does he know to do this to me_, Ben thinks, feeling overheated and overwhelmed. “Ah!”__

_ _“How do you want it?” Armie asks, grinding against Ben’s ass. His breath is coming in choppy bursts against Ben’s neck. He pulls at Ben’s hip, pressing him down onto his back, sliding down between his legs. “Like this?”_ _

_ _“Sure - however you’re comfortable - just, fuck! Can I turn the light on?” Armie has tugged Ben’s shorts down below his hips and is touching him lightly, experimentally, running his fingertips over Ben’s balls and up the shaft of his cock. Ben desperately wants to see the expression on his face. _ _

_ _“Okay,” Armie says, a little hesitantly. Ben nearly strains something reaching for the light switch, but it’s worth it to be able to see Armie looking at Ben’s erection with an expression of intense, slightly drunken concentration, as if he’s calculating its dimensions relative to the size of his mouth, to see his pink tongue flicker out to lick at the tip - _ _

_ _“You like that?” Ben gasps, as Armie goes on licking at him, delicately, almost thoughtfully. “Tastes good?”_ _

_ _“I thought you were supposed to be teaching me how to do this,” Armie says, archly, his hand wrapped too loosely around the shaft of Ben’s cock, “not just lying there talking like you’re in a porn movie.”_ _

_ _“Fuck off,” Ben pants, half-laughing. Armie has gone back to licking at him, little swipes of his tongue up and down the length of Ben’s cock, like it’s a popsicle stick. “You watch a lot of cock-sucking porn at your Catholic boarding school? Is that what you do with the Jesuits?”_ _

_ _“We’re Catholic, not Amish,” Armie responds, deadpan. “We did have Internet access.”_ _

_ _“Maybe you should be teaching me, then. Drop the innocent act and show me what you can do.”_ _

_ _“But I want you to teach me how you like it,” Armie says, looking up at him, his green eyes hot. “Tell me what you want.”_ _

“Ah - _fuck_,” Ben groans. “Okay - fine, keep your lips over your teeth, suck it into your mouth, move your head up and down - oh fuck me, that feels so good - “ Ben’s hips jerk upward involuntarily and Armie pulls away, coughing and gagging. “Sorry! Uh - please don’t stop - I’ll try to stay still - “ 

_ _“It’s okay,” Armie says, squeezing Ben’s cock, “I liked making you do that. Keep talking.”_ _

_ _“Oh fuck,” Ben breathes, again, as Armie goes back to sucking him, his mouth wet and open now, his face flushed. Ben strokes Armie’s hair, trying to distract himself. “Can you jerk me off with your hand at the same time - jerk me off into your mouth - just like that - that’s so good - “_ _

_ _“Mmm,” Armie sighs, his face blissful, as if he’s loving it, loving Ben’s cock in his mouth, and it’s too much, too hot, and - _ _

_ _“Armie - oh, shit!” Ben tugs Armie off his cock just a second too late, and spurts of his come catch Armie in the face, unloading onto his lips and cheeks. Fortunately none of it gets into his eyes. “Sorry, sorry - “_ _

_ _“It’s okay,” Armie says, as Ben tries to wipe his face clean with a corner of the sheet. He licks his lips, smiling. “I kind of like it, actually.”_ _

_ _“You’re so hot,” Ben says, helplessly. “Get up here.” He pulls Armie up to lie on top of him, their sweaty skin sticking together. He cups Armie’s head in both his hands and presses his tongue into Armie’s mouth: Armie tastes like come and beer. It’s good; Ben likes it. It occurs to Ben that this is the first time they’ve kissed. _ _

_ _Something similar seems to occur to Armie, possibly, and he pulls away, panting. But his hard cock is still digging into Ben’s stomach through his damp briefs. “Ben - can you - “_ _

_ _“Take those off,” Ben says, opting not to feel wounded, “want to sit on my face?”_ _

_ _Armie’s eyes go wide. “You mean - like - “_ _

_ _“Yeah, it’ll be good, come on. I want to make you feel good.”_ _

_ _“I don’t know,” Armie says, but he’s already pulling his underwear off and scrambling up to sit over Ben, his thighs on either side of Ben’s face. “Like this?”_ _

_ _“Yeah, perfect,” Ben says happily, breathing in the warm scent of Armie’s body. He grabs Armie by the hips. Armie lets out a high, helpless sound as Ben’s tongue flickers over his balls and down between his cheeks. He tastes good, clean and salty. _ _

_ _“You - what are you doing to me - “ Armie groans, grinding down against Ben’s face. Ben can barely breathe, but he doesn’t care, not with the astonished sounds Armie is making as Ben licks into him. This is more what he had imagined when he fantasized about his virginal roommate: Armie overwhelmed and helpless, shocked by pleasure. Although the other, more surprising version of Armie, the one who had climbed into Ben’s bed and begun eagerly sucking his cock, that had been good too. So good. “Oh my god - Ben - I need - “_ _

_ _“What do you need?”_ _

_ _“Please - “ Armie kneels up a little and leans forward, pressing the leaking head of his cock against Ben’s lips. “Please - “ Ben opens his mouth and lets Armie thrust into it, sucking hard. Armie lets out a shout that goes straight to Ben’s cock and comes almost immediately, filling Ben’s mouth with salty liquid. Ben swallows as Armie doubles over, panting, clinging to the metal bar at the top of the bed. _ _

_ _“Hey,” Ben says softly, reaching for him, as Armie disentangles himself and begins climbing down off the bed, “hey - “_ _

_ _“I need to brush my teeth,” Armie says, hopping onto the floor and heading towards the bathroom door. When he comes back he climbs back into his own bunk without saying anything to Ben. _ _

_ _***_ _

_ _For the next three days, Armie repeats his disappearing act from the previous week. On Tuesday, Ben manages to catch him in the hallway between classes. “Armie,” he says, grabbing his arm, “what - “_ _

Armie twitches away from his touch. “Not _here_,” he hisses furiously, looking around. Ben wants to argue the point, but when he looks at Armie’s face, Armie looks genuinely frightened. So he drops it. 

_ _That night, Ben is already asleep in the empty room when he wakes up to the feeling of Armie suddenly dropping onto the mattress behind him. “Hey,” Armie whispers in his ear, pressing up behind him and putting an arm around him. His breath smells like beer again. _ _

_ _“Hi,” Ben says. Armie’s bare chest is hot against his back. “Oh, so now that you’re drunk again, you want to talk to me?”_ _

_ _Armie’s hand, which had been sliding down over Ben’s stomach, pauses. “It’s not that I didn’t want to talk to you earlier.”_ _

_ _“Could’ve fooled me.”_ _

_ _“I just didn’t want anyone to see us and wonder what was going on.”_ _

_ _“Armie, we’re roommates. Freaking out when I say hi to you in the hallway is going to look way weirder to anyone watching than just talking to me like a normal fucking human being.”_ _

_ _“I suppose.” Armie nibbles gently at Ben’s ear. “Sorry, I didn’t think you’d be so bothered by it.”_ _

_ _“What did you think, that I’d be thrilled you were acting like I have the plague?” Armie’s hand is stroking Ben’s chest now and it’s hard to focus. Ben puts his hand over Armie’s and holds it. “Armie, I’m not asking you to, like, make out with me in the back of the classroom. But I’m not - I’m not a sex toy that you can just take out of a drawer when you’re drunk and horny.”_ _

_ _“So you don’t want to do this?” Armie sounds hurt. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have woken you.” He pulls his hand back and turns away, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He seems to be trying to figure out how to climb down in the dark. _ _

_ _“You don’t have to leave,” Ben says, rolling over and wrapping himself around Armie from behind. “I just wish you’d stop disappearing on me.” Armie stops trying to climb off the bed and hesitantly lies down again. Ben pulls him close, fitting their bodies together, breathing in the smell of his hair. “Like, I get that you’re dealing with some stuff, with your dad or whatever.”_ _

_ _“I just need him to keep paying for school,” Armie says. “I’ve been taking extra credits every semester to try to get through as fast as possible. I should be done in a year and a half.”_ _

_ _“Well, at least you’re not at the Jesuit boarding school anymore, right? I mean, I guess technically Georgetown is a Jesuit school too, but it’s, like, a normal place.”_ _

_ _“Yeah, it’s fine, it’s not the problem, but my father made me move back in with him while I’m there.”_ _

_ _“Seriously?” Ben says. “He sends you off to some crazy boarding school as a kid and then he makes you move back in with him for college?”_ _

_ _“I guess he figured I’d be kept under control at the boarding school in a way that I wouldn’t be in a college dorm,” Armie says. He’s quiet for a moment, breathing against Ben. “He’s a colonel in the Marines. He’s always said he didn’t want a desk job but as soon as I got into Georgetown he called up some buddy of his and took a staff job at the Pentagon.”_ _

_ _“Just so he could - what? Keep an eye on you so that you couldn’t start sucking dick?”_ _

_ _“He didn’t put it quite like that,” Armie says drily, “but yes, I think that was one of his key concerns. He only agreed to pay for this summer program because I talked up the Catholic aspect of it so much.”_ _

_Let me rescue you,_ Ben thinks. But Armie would hate that idea, he’s fairly certain. _You could take out student loans and move in with me._ Instead he says, “Well, my place is a dump and I have to share the bathroom with like six gross dudes, but I’ve got my own room. You’re welcome to hide out there anytime.” 

_ _Armie laughs. “Thanks,” he says. He squirms against Ben. “So what exactly are we doing here?”_ _

_ _“I’m holding you and we’re actually having a conversation for once?”_ _

_ _Armie rubs back against Ben, more deliberately now. “Don’t you have some other things to teach me? Show me what you like?”_ _

_ _“Fuck,” Ben says, rolling half on top of Armie and grinding his stiffening cock down against Armie’s ass. “You put on this innocent act, but you know exactly what you do to me, don’t you.”_ _

_ _“I know what I’m trying to get you to do to me,” Armie says, somewhat muffled. “You’re not being very cooperative tonight.”_ _

Ben laughs, half out of breath. “I’m trying to - _fuck_ \- I’m trying to be the good guy here. Trying not to take advantage of my drunk virgin roommate.” 

_ _“Little late for that, don’t you think?” _ _

_ _Ben bites the back of Armie’s neck. “Who climbed into my bed and demanded a blowjob? It’s not my fault you make it hard to say no to you.”_ _

_ _“That’s the idea,” Armie says. “Anyway, I’m not very drunk anymore - or very virginal, after last weekend. So you may as well keep going.”_ _

_ _“Yeah?” Ben says, still rubbing against Armie. They’re both breathing hard now. “So what do you want me to teach you this time?”_ _

_ _“Mmm,” Armie sighs, “weren’t you just telling me the other day about how good it feels to - to - “_ _

_ _“To get fucked?” Ben supplies, hopefully. _ _

_ _“Yes. That.” Armie squirms underneath him. “You’re so big, though, we might have to work up to it slowly. I might need several lessons.”_ _

_ _“You drive me fucking crazy, you know that?” Ben groans. “You need to promise me one thing, though. Or no more lessons.”_ _

_ _“What?”_ _

_ _“Stop blowing me off in public. Like, you don’t have to - you don’t have to buy me fucking flowers or anything. But stop acting like I don’t exist.”_ _

_ _Armie twists around to kiss Ben. It’s so unexpected, and his mouth is so soft and hot, that Ben barely registers his response. “Okay,” he says quietly. “Deal. And Ben?”_ _

_ _“Yeah?”_ _

_ _“When you said I could hide out at your place anytime. Did you mean that?”_ _

_ _“Yeah. Of course.”_ _

_ _“I might take you up on that.”_ _

_ _Ben grins. “Awesome,” he says. “Now back to the lessons.”_ _

**Author's Note:**

> \- Homophobia: Armie is closeted and struggling with it, and he mentions that his controlling father will cut him off if he finds out that Armie is gay. No homophobic language or specific descriptions of homophobic incidents. 
> 
> \- Drunk Sex/Slight Dubcon: Armie repeatedly gets drunk before propositioning Ben. Ben is sober and somewhat concerned about whether Armie is too drunk to consent, but has sex with him anyway. Armie isn’t incapacitated and insists that he’s fine, but this aspect could be potentially triggering for some readers.
> 
> \- Ben complains about Leia’s parenting - this isn’t how I think of her (or working mothers in general); it’s just his POV.
> 
> Once again, I have to apologize for posting a new fic without answering all the comments on the previous one. I had a baby in October and have been really struggling to find time to write at all, but please know that I absolutely treasure every comment and that I will do my best to respond to everyone eventually. Love you guys!


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